yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Randomize
