i'm signing you up for texting rehab
I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
