Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
