i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
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