don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
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