shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
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