glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
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