We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Randomize
