i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
