i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
