hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
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