i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
