Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Randomize
