Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
I'm bleeding and have questions
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Randomize
