All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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