please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
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