I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
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