I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
I see more hoeing in ur future
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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