me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Randomize
