dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Randomize