if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Randomize
