Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
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