There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
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