ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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