just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
