they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
Randomize
