I wannas sexs uuuuu
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
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