Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
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