If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
You had me at "let me see your balls"
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
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