I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
Randomize
