he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
