i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
