youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Randomize
