I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
True strength comes from lack of pants
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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