I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Randomize
