Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
I wish my penis had an off switch
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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