Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
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