No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
