your parents love me but you hate me
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
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