You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Someone came in the potted fern
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
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