I showed him my bush... on skype.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
