I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize