I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
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