? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Randomize
