You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
I think your dad took our porno
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
