i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
