Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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