he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Randomize