Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
