i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
