it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
