whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
I am one with the molecules
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
