Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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