Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Randomize