How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
My dad is sitting where you rode me
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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