I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
You're a waste of cheezeits
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
