I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
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