I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
