That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
