I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Randomize
