Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
