Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
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